Release Date: 1994
Where To Buy:
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3. With The Moon
5. The Vision
7. Keep Me In Mind
8. Yeah, So What?
9. Not Long Now
10. M (David’s Dub)
12. Free (Of Vocals Dub)
Dance for hours. Mystic powers. I know she's moving closer and I can't move at all. Her eyes see me like I'm dreaming. Finally she approaches and I cringe to find the words. No words spoken. My voice is broken but the dance continues. My arms hold her. The room feels colder, and the truth hits me as her lips kiss me. I wouldn't let go for anything right now. I want to love her and you can't make me stop. Music surrounds. I'm lost in sounds. Her arms hold me tighter. I don't want to fight her. I want this dream; this lucid scene. And “she's so real,” I'm thinking, as nails dig in my back. I wouldn't let go for anything right now. I want to love her and you can't make me stop. M to the second. M to the third. Mental disturbances quietly heard. Make me whisper what's not allowed for you. M, you'll hear me. M, you'll find me. Don't be lost where time is free. I won't lose you for any reality, sweet M. Evening ages. Her body rages. And I am still responding. My mind is just beyond me. As lights get brighter, our eyes are whiter. She tries with words. Cover her mouth. It's not a dream and words change that. I wouldn't let go for anything right now. I want to love her and you can't make me stop.
"M" was the last song written for this album... and probably one of the better ones. I wrote the lyrics only a few days before it was recorded in the studio because I wanted something that didn't hurt what I felt was, musically, a cool mood. What does “M” stand for? I’ll never tell.
And maybe if I had a heart, I'd let this whole thing fall apart. But something inside won't let you go. I've got to tell you, got to let you know. There's something that you and I have got. We can't just let the whole thing drop. I'm looking at you. You're looking at me. I'm looking at what this thing could be. Maybe, on a different day, we'll fall in love again in a similar way. You ask me questions. I tell you lies. I need to wear a blank disguise. The truth is hiding inside of me. Why can't it be free? If I knew the answers, problem solved. But I just don't know, don't know at all. What's clear is that you can't run away... can't run away from someday. Maybe, on a different day, we'll fall in love again in a similar way. And you looked into my eyes. They were still lying. And you looked into my heart. It was still trying. “Reach for me,” I said. “Reach for me.” Maybe, on a different day, we'll fall in love again in a similar way.
"Maybe" is perhaps the most energized track on the album. Oh, and that sample in the middle? That says "Pull back, baby, while you're still funky." At first it might seem to have no particular meaning (besides being pretty stupid!, but if you think about it a little more... yeah, you'll still find that thought is completely accurate. It has no meaning. What was I thinking? I don't know. I guess I just liked the sound of it!
With The Moon (lyrics by Dana Chelian)
There are no stars in the sky tonight. I know that they're somewhere. But now, everything is shrouded by clouds. The answers lie somewhere beyond the confusion. But it may take a while, before we can get there on this starry night. People ask why it is I sit around and wait. They say I've got to make things happen. But I've been forcing things all my life. I want something to come natural. So I will continue to hope. And I'll continue to dream of the day when I can smile instead of having to scream. But for now I'll be content with the way things are going. But in the back of my mind I'll always be hoping. I know that someday, though it may not be soon, my dreams will come true, and I will dance with the moon. All will be clear: No more clouds, no more questions. My dreams will come true, and I will dance with the moon. But for now I'll be content with the way things are going. But in the back of my mind I'll always be hoping. I know that someday, though it may not be soon, my dreams will come true, and I will dance with the moon.
"With the Moon" is a song that took me over three months to complete. (For me, in 1994, this was a very very long time. I used to write and program a new song every couple of weeks.) Using Dana Chelian's lyrics finally helped me shape the music into something that worked. Also, this is one of the very few songs written before the summer of '94 to make it on to this very first Cosmicity album.
She traveled all day. She traveled her life away. She traveled all night. She traveled to make it right. Tonight, she lives in Egypt. Tonight, her soul's in Egypt. She wandered from love. His love couldn't be enough. She wandered from pain. In Egypt she could be saved. Today she finds a different world. Her heaven in the sun. Digging in the dirt. Today Egypt sets her free. Standing on the Sphinx who wouldn't be? Tonight, she dreams of Egypt. (Through the deserts under pyramids... finds herself in ancient hieroglyphics) Tonight, she lives through Egypt. (Meets the pharaoh and touches the sand... finds her soul in the mystic land.) She knows this is all real. She knows from the way it feels. Today she finds a different world. Her heaven in the sun. Digging in the dirt. Today Egypt sets her free. Standing on the Sphinx who wouldn't be? Tonight, she dreams of Egypt. (Through the deserts under pyramids... finds herself in ancient hieroglyphics.) Tonight, she lives through Egypt. (Meets the pharaoh and touches the sand... finds her soul in the mystic land.)
"Egypt" is a song about escape. The was a battered woman I'd seen on the news... a horrible victim of spousal abuse... and I had her very much in mind when I wrote this. The idea of "Egypt" as the symbol of escape was conceived by my college sweetheart Sara Shippey.
"The Vision" is about following through on your goals in life. If you're not doing what you want to do... then your life isn't your own. The phrase "Keep The Vision" is one that I borrowed from none other than my mother. Thanks mom! Musically... okay, fine. Not my finest 3.5 minutes. But hey, a guy’s gotta start somewhere, right? I was learning!
And who am I to question? We've got to make an impression. I don't know. I don't know why we have to go under the sky. We could fly free, above clouds. Nothing to see but what we want to see. That we can see. Our own way. What else can there be? We can't be living any other way. Seems like the love is fading. I see the world anticipating all the things that bring our love down. We can't stop a world crashing down. We'll have to learn a new way. We'll have to earn the sun's rays. They're not free, and neither are we. Time to change. What else can there be? We can't be living any other way.
"Free" was the most challenging song for me in terms of vocals. It forced me to the top and bottom of my range, and then some! But listening to "Erasure" the day I wrote this made me feel ambitious... and now I know that was mistake! Know thy limits! Oh well. Making that mistake really helped me improve my vocals dramatically on subsequent albums.
Keep Me In Mind (lyrics by David Humphrey)
I have been to places that I dare not go alone. I need a hand to guide me when I'm on my own. Memory like a dark cave. A place I can not hide. It really is frightening the way I feel inside. Keep me in mind. You know what I'm thinking. Can't be without you. You know how I feel. Nowhere to hide. You know what I'm thinking. I feel you inside. You know how I feel. I can not hide the way I feel about you. There are so secrets when it's between me and you. Take me where you're going. We just can't be apart. The feelings I have are stronger than just my bleeding heart. Keep me in mind. You know what I'm thinking. Can't be without you. You know how I feel.
"Keep Me In Mind" was a collaborative effort between my best friend, David Humphrey, and myself. We spent an entire evening working on a new "comedy" song... and finally gave up. (Perhaps a follow-up to our legendary Tori Spelling send-up "Electric Tori" just wasn't meant to be!) When we went back at 2:00 am to tinker a bit more... we started writing this song. 2 hours later it was complete. I wish writing music was always that easy!
Yeah, So What?
This song wouldn’t exist if David Humphrey hadn’t helped to finance it. It’s one thing to encourage someone’s just-developing talents, it’s another thing to financially back them. Thanks, David. Looking back, I wish this was a better song, but the fact that he helped me get it recorded anyway just makes his huge show of support even more meaningful to me. I learned a lot, and hopefully all of the songs I’ve written since this one have helped make up for its shortcomings!
Not Long Now
It's not long now, until I touch your skin. It's not long now, until night begins. Days apart, my small tears drop. Too little to count... the days... and the tears.
This is one of the few tracks actually recorded before 1994 to make it on to this album. “Not Long Now” was written for my college sweetheart as I was missing her over a long summer apart. In terms of production, now some 20 years after it was recorded, this song seems to hold up better than many other songs on this album. Perhaps the New Age-styled arrangement gives it a little added longevity.
Finally stepped out to the real world. The twist of your fear finally uncurled. You dance naked for the world to see, but dress back up 'cause that's not what you need. Dreams snapped away by the flip of a wrist. Now it's your enemies you wish you'd kissed. Play by the rules but the rules always change. Nobody knows you, isn't that strange? Enhance the color of your hair. Enhance the kinds of clothes you wear. Don't think they'll have you the way you are. Don't think they love you. They love your car. You thought you'd be real, yourself for a change. Thought that it mattered if your goals were arranged. Not to upset you or say that you're wrong, but change your approach or your wait will be long. Dreams snapped away by the flip of a wrist. Now it's your enemies you wish you'd kissed. Play by the rules but the rules always change. Nobody knows you, isn't that strange? Enhance the color of your hair. Enhance the kinds of clothes you wear. Don't think they'll have you the way you are. Don't think they love you. They love your car.
"Enhance" came to me after making a new "not so confident" friend. I felt really strongly about saying something... but it became quickly apparent that the average conversation wouldn't cut it. So, this song was supposed to do the job. I never really saw him again, though. I wonder if it did?